


Home Is Where The Heart Is

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-05-22 07:50:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6071137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Songs for this fic are To Build a Home by the Cinamatic Orchestra, My Own by Whitaker, and Eye of the Needle by Sia. </p>
<p>Slight underage warning. Moderate age difference. (6 years.) Mention of abuse and homophobia.</p>
<p>Dean Winchester has lived next to Castiel Novak for as long as he remembers. He helps him with home work, bakes him pies, even takes to him about girls. As an unwanted crush devolps along with severe daddy issues, Dean isn't sure if he will be able to stay with his one and only friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home Is Where The Heart Is

When John and Mary Winchester moved into a small town in Kansas, the Novak family were their only neighbors. The only one that ever spoke was Castiel. He was a good neighbor. He didn't party or try to catch a glimpse of Mary while she was in the shower. He kept to himself but was very kind.

The Novak's owned a bakery down the street. Angel Sweet's was the name. Mary went there from time to time to check out what he had and help out with business.

Castiel and Mary didn't talk much. Their conversations went along the lines of trading recipes, talking about recent news, maybe even asking how each other are doing. They had a nice acquaintanceship and nothing more.

Unlike most teenagers, Castiel didn't dress like a thug. He wore white buttoned down shirts, always ironed and pressed, and dark, black slacks. His hair was always neatly combed and parted. He was professional and trustworthy to say the least.

John, of course, had his doubts about the man. He didn't trust him. Then again, after serving in the marines, he didn't trust anyone. Obeying his wife's orders, he didn't do anything, but he made sure to keep his eye on Castiel.

As the time came around for Mary's eldest son Dean's tenth brithday, Mary was beyond stressed. She had been working all week and didn't have time to make or buy a pie (Dean hates cake). Seeing nothing else to do, she turned to Castiel.

"Pie instead of cake? He must be picky." Castiel said when Mary approached him with the task. His voice was very deep and rough for a guy his age.

"Don't ask me. He just loves pie. Apple, mainly." Mary said with a smile. "Can you do this one favor for me? Please? You can come to the party."

"Yes, because a teenager hanging around a child's party is perfectly understandable." Castiel wasn't wrong. It would look very creepy to see him observing the other kids as they play and ate.

The two finally came to an agreement. Castiel would make the pie and serve it, but only stay long enough to do just that. This way, any parents of the children can know who made the pie and maybe even go to Castiel's bakery.

What the teenager didn't expect was the admiration from the ten year old by.

"Castiel Novak, you make the best pies ever!" Dean had said, running up to him after digging into it. "Thank you so much!"

Castiel took a sudden liking to the boy. From his short blonde hair, to the freckles scattered across his skin, even the unnatural green in his eyes. The kid was adorable.

"It is my pleasure. Happy birthday, Dean. How old are you now?"

"Ten! How about you?" The eager child said. He seemed so happy and there was so much light in his eyes. He was pure, as a child should be.

"I just turned sixteen a month ago." It was true. Castiel spent his birthday alone at the bakery. He made himself a cake, of course, and ate it alone.

"Really? That is only six year difference! And happy late birthday, Cas!"

Cas. No one has ever given him a nickname before and Castiel couldn't help but smile. "Thank you, Dean."

They talked for a very long time about anything and everything. The leather jacket Dean's father gave to him earlier that day, how Castiel learned how to bake, different army figures that Dean owned. It was nice. From that moment the two became close friends. Dean would often go to Castiel's after school. Cas would help Dean with his homework and bake him treats until it was time for him to leave.

Dean sometimes asked about Cas' parents, but there was not much to tell. They are usually gone on business and leave Cas home alone. In all honesty, he preferred it this way.

This went on for a many months. One day, about a year later, Dean stopped by without his books or even his bag. He was twiddling with his fingers and looked nervous.

"Is everything alright, Dean? You looked troubled." Castiel said, concerned. There was not much that could bother the young boy.

Dean looked down at the ground and blushed. "I am fine...it is just that...today, on the playground...this girl named Cassie kissed me."

Castiel had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. He was worried over nothing! Dean must have noticed this because he looked up and gave Cas a death glare.

"Uh..." Cas coughed and cleared his throat. "Why don't you come in and we will take about it?"

Dean continued to glare at Cas but agreed and walked in. He went to his usual spot at the small white table and sat down. Cas made him some tea and sat down across from him. "So...what did you do after Cassie kissed you?"

"I didn't know what to do...I had never kissed anyone before..." Dean said sheepishly as he sipped at his tea. He grimaced at the flavor. He never was a fan of tea.

"Well, did you like kissing her?"

Dean shurgged. It wasn't that easy of a question. Sure, when he felt her soft lips against his he felt warm and fuzzy and heat started to pool in his lower stomach. He was still a kid after all. "I don't know, maybe? It's just..."

The hesitation in his voice was obvious. There was something that he wasn't saying, and Cas could tell that it was eating away at the now eleven year old boy.

"It's just what, Dean? You can trust me."

Dean nodded and look a deep breath. He was blushing and he stared down at a crack in the white table. He could do this. He could tell Cas anything, right?

"Sometimes...I think of kissing boys."

Castiel widen his eyes in surprise. He was not expecting this. It is true that Cas himself felt more attraction to males than females. It was the main reason that his parents never come home.

"I know that it is wrong. My dad told me-" Not letting Dean finish his sentence, Cas interrupted.

"You father doesn't know what he is talking about. There is nothing wrong with being homosexual." Castiel said matter of factly.  He had leaned forward on his elbows, hands clasped together on the table.

Dean looked up at Cas briefly before looking back down. "I'm a freak."

"Dean..." Castiel sighed looked at the young child with pity. He wasn't even a teenager and was worrying about his sexuality. "Most good men were once called freaks. Don't let other peoples words get you down."

"Thank you, Mr. Novak."

Dean left shortly after that. Funny thing was that he didn't come back for a while. Cas talked to Mary about it and she shrugged, saying that he had been spending less time at home, too.

Sam, Dean's younger brother, said that Dean had a girlfriend. Cas felt a small twinge of disappointment. His encouraging words about Dean's sexuality had been for nothing. The girl was Cassie.

As years went by Dean had his fair share of girlfriends. After Cassie dumped him for a high school jock, Dean moved on to Jo, then Bella, Anna, and finally Lisa. Lisa was a total slut. 

Castiel was too busy to notice most of the changes that Dean went through. He was occupied with his own life. Castiel graduated high-school and started college at the local university studying psychology.

___________________________________

Lisa and Dean dated for a while before Mary caught them in bed together. Dean was only fourteen; he shouldn't be having sex yet! Mary forced him to break up with her. John had disagreed saying that Dean was a man and could do as he pleased. He even bought him a box of condoms.

John slept on the couch that night.

Seeing nothing else to do with his time, Dean found himself thinking about Castiel quite often. How things used to be when he was younger and the hardest decisions were what flavor of pie he wanted. Dean missed the pie, but most of all, he missed Cas.

Cas wasn't just his neighbor. He was his best friend. No matter what Dean knew that Cas would always be there for him. He hasn't really talked to him in years, so he doubted that he would still be willing to listen.

Making sure that his mother would let him go over, Dean grabbed his school bag and walked over to the small house. Dean stared at the house with its white shutters and dark, shingled roof down to the soft, bright green grass that makes up the lawn. Taking a deep breath, Dean walked up to the dark oak door and knocked four times.

It took a few seconds for Cas to open the door and when he did his appearance shocked Dean. It wasn't that early in the morning. Just a few minutes after 10:00 on a Sunday. Cas must like to sleep in on Saturdays because he looked like he just woke up.

His usually neat hair was a mess and sticking out everywhere. _. Sex hair_ , Dean thought. _Cas has crazy sex hair when he leaves it alone._

Dean's eyes trailed down from his hair to his deep blue eyes. There were light bags under his eyes that seem to suit him. Dean moved his gaze down still, noticing how kissable his chapped pink lips looked before he realized what Cas was wearing.

Yeah, he had totally been sleeping. He wasn't wearing a shirt and on his legs were light grey sweatpants. Dean couldn't stop himself from staring at Cas' chest and how...casual he looked. He looked more like a normal college student then who Dean used to think of as Mr. Novak.

"Oh, h-hello, Dean. I wasn't expecting you." Castiel had said, interrupting Dean's thoughts. Dean looked up at Cas' face and saw a blush rising to his cheeks. It didn't cross Dean's mind till now that he had been staring at Castiel's bare chest for a while now.

Even from where he stood a few feet away, Dean could feel the heat radiating off of the older mans body. He could smell how welcoming Cas' scent was. Cinnamon and watermelons.

"Sorry...I didn't mean to disturb you...I will just go..." Dean sighed and turned around, disappointment noticeable in voice. He was about to walk away when he felt a hand lightly touch his arm.

"You didn't disturb me. I needed to get up anyways. What do you need?" 

Dean smiled, relieved that Cas would still want to talk to him after all of these years of ignoring him. That was when Dean realized he didn't have a plan for why he came over. "Uh..." 

Thinking quickly he reached into his bag and pulled out his Math book. Mr. Novak used to help Dean with his homework all the time. In addition to this, Dean really had homework he needed to do.

Castiel nodded and opened the door wider, a kind smile on his face. "Go ahead and sit down at the table. I will get dressed and meet you there."

With that, Cas shut the door and headed off to his bedroom. Dean walked slowly towards the kitchen, looking around the house. He looked at the light brown couch and small TV in the sitting room, pictures of Cas as a child and two people he assumed to be his parents, the light beige carpet that was always soft and fluffy.

Walking into the kitchen, Dean felt contempt. This used to be his favorite place while growing up. A home away from home. At times, Dean even thought to himself that he felt safer here than with his family. Especially when his father starts drinking.

The kitchen was a small one. Light green cupboards, white porcelain counter tops, grey fridge, light colored wood flooring. It was nothing special but at the same time extremely special. Because it was theirs. No one else knows how much this room means to Dean and he doubted he would ever tell anyone.

Suddenly, Dean realized what was going on. How he felt anxious to come over to see Castiel. How he felt as though Cas was his real family. How he stared at the half naked man for what felt like years and the way his toned muscles had transfixed him.

He was falling for Cas.

How could Dean never have noticed this? His crush as as clear as day! It was a surprise that Castiel didn't notice.

Maybe he did. Maybe that is why he had been so distant lately. Cas never tried to talk to Dean after he got his first girlfriend. Had Cas realized Dean had feelings for him back then?

His thoughts were short lived as Cas walked into the kitchin, white button up shirt, black pants, and neatly combed hair. Dean sighed in disappointment and sat down in his usual spot, opening his math book to the section he was working on.

In reality, Dean had no problems with math. It was quite simple and much easier than most of his other subjects. Cas doesn't know this, of course, and there is no way Dean will tell him. He just had to play dumb.

"What have you been having trouble with?" Cas asked Dean as he sat in the seat across from him, hands folded in his lap.

"Oh, uh..." Dean looked at the page and said the first thing that popped in his mind. "I can never remember what pi is."

Dean looked up and saw Castiel smile as he started explaining methods on how to remember that pi is, at a simple form, 3.14. He leaned over and picked up Dean's pencil before starting to write.

Zoning out, Dean focused on the way that the corner of Cas' lips curved upwards when he said a word that started with the letter 'h'. How formal and beautiful Castiel's scripted hand writing was, how each curve was swirled perfectly.

"Alright, now you get started and if you need help, I am here. Would you like a snack?" Cas said as he dropped the pencil and sat back. Dean nodded and picked up the pencil and watched as Cas stood and walked to the fridge.

Castiel pulled the leftover pie he had from the bakery. Someone had ordered it but never came to pick it up. It was apple; Dean's favorite.

"You are so fucking smart. I would fail if I didn't have you to help me." Dean lied as he slowly did his work. In all honesty, math was the only subject the young Winchester excelled at. Just a bunch of numbers and symbols and every problem had a solution.

Dean heard Cas sigh as he set the plate of apple pie down on the table. He gave both himself and Dean a fork and they shared the leftover pie. "Language, Dean."

"Right...sorry." Was Dean not supposed to swear? He swore all the time at home. Sure, his mother would get angry at times, but that really was only when he was around Sam. His dad was the one who taught him what all the words meant. "But I am serious. Sam is smarter then me and he is ten."

He was actually speaking the truth. More often then not, Dean would have to cheat off of Sam just to get his homework done. In subjects like English and Science, Sam was the genius. History was Sam's best subject

"Everyone is smart about something."

"Yeah, well, not me."

Castiel set down his fork and set his arms on the table, leaning in closer to Dean. He stared right into his eyes and gave him a serious look. "I have seen you working in the garage with your father, Dean. You are very knowledgeable about cars."

"That doesn't count. Knowing how to change a tire doesn't count as a skill." Dean said, scoffing and shoving a fork full of pie into his mouth.

Sure, Dean liked the attention he got from Mr. Novak, but that wasn't the only reason he was saying this. He was being truthful. Everyone in his family always talked about _Sam._ How great and smart and perfect _Sam_ is. How _Sam_ is going to do great things and go to some big college and change the world. No one every applauded Dean and he just felt useless.

Castiel lightly put his hand over Dean's in a friendly, totally-not-gay way.  He spoke softly and calmly. "What if an ambulance is on the way to the hospital but can't make it in time because the engine was bad and the mechanic the hospital took it to didn't know what he was doing?"

Dean was too distracted by the fact that Cas was holding his hand to function properly. He could see Cas' lips moving but did nit hear what he was saying. Much to Dean's dismay, he was a teenager and his body did teenager things. Like getting a boner just from his crush touching him.

Dean looked down and gulped. How was he going to explain this? He looked up when he heard Cas ask if he was okay and he nodded. He needed to get out of here fast.

"I guess you're right." Dean said, trying to end the conversation. He looked at his watch and scooting back in his chair. "Looks like I better head out. Thanks for helping me."

________________________________________

Dean grabbed his book and hurried out before Cas could say anything. He did not notice when one of his graded papers that he stuck in the back of his book fell out and drifted onto the floor. Castiel, being the good person he was, walked and picked up the paper.

He had planned to go over to the Winchester's to return the paper, but something on it caught his eye. Dean had said that he couldn't understand math, yet on the top of his paper in red ink a 100 was written along with the sentence Keep up the good work, Dean!

Raising an eyebrow, Castiel went through and looked at his paper. It contained questions similar to the problems that Dean had asked help with. Dean lied to him? No, that couldn't be right. Why would Dean lie to him?

But the evidence was right here. Dean was good at math. Astonishing at it, even. Cas always did like guys that were good with numbers. He wondered what else Dean was good at...

Widening his eyes, Cas dropped the paper. Dean is only fourteen; he can't be thinking like that! Not only was Dean still a kid, but Cas was twenty. That is just wrong in so many ways.

Yet...Cas found himself thinking this on multiple occasions. Depending on where he is and the mood determined what he thought about. When he is working on some of his treats in the bakery he thinks of his eyes. Those bright, unnaturally green eyes that used to hold so much hope as a child's should.

When he was sitting in the local coffee shop, sipping away and the small cappuccino he always ordered, he thought about his freckles. They were a nice tan contrast to his pale skin. The freckles suited his nicely shaped face and beautiful short, golden locks.

How he always smelled like a garage. Not in a bad way, however. But in a way that suited Dean and his personality. Car grease and the leather from his old jacket. When Castiel thought of Dean, there was no other scent in the world that he could think of that would suit him as well as this one did.

These thoughts were nice and all, but when Castiel found himself bored at night in his bed or in the warm shower in the morning, the things he imagined were less tame. He thought about what Dean must be hiding underneath all of those clothes. Sure, he was young, but with all the girls he managed to get, he had to be packing.

Puberty had hit him hard. He used to be kinda chubby and was just an adorable little boy. Now he was just jaw dropping. The school made all the guys work out so Dean lost that chub fast and replaced it with toned, hard muscle. Castiel often thought about how nice it would feel to runs his hands over those taut muscles.

Castiel knew Dean wasn't a virgin. Not with girls, at least. But there is still a few things Cas would like to teach the young Winchester.

When Dean first came to Cas talking about the girl he kissed, he looked scared. It had been his first kiss and he didn't really know what to do. Cas could tell that much. All Castiel wanted to do was 'teach' Dean how to properly kiss someone. Maybe even how to kiss someone somewhere a little more private...

What was happening to him? Cas has never had these thoughts about anyone before! He even held Dean's hand in the kitchen. Sure, Dean must have thought he was being friendly but with the way he left, so sudden and abrupt, Castiel began to consider that Dean was on to him and throughly creeped out. He needed to study more about the signs of discontent.

That night, Cas decided that he wouldn't allow himself anymore alone time with Dean.   
    
     
The next afternoon, Castiel was ready. He was going to tell Dean that he had to focus on college stuff and can't spend so much time helping him with his homework.

Cas was washing the dishes he had used at lunch when he heard someone knock on his door. Sighing, Castiel dried his hand and walked towards the single oak door.

He was going to tell Dean he can't talk today. Take baby steps. The next time he will say the same thing and every day after that. Under no circumstances is he to let Dean in.

"Mr. Novak...are you busy?"

Dean was standing there looking different then what Cas had expected. To be honest, Cas didn't know what he was expecting. Whatever it was, it wasn't this.

Dean's right fist was caked in blood and there were spots splattered on his face. His eyes were red and puffy, like he had been crying recently. It didn't look good.

"What happened?!" Castiel said, voice thick with worry. 

Dean let out a quavering breath and looked down to the ground. "It's Sam...I saw some guys picking on him today and decided to intervene..."

Castiel knew that Sam often got bullied. Being as smart and scrawny as he was it was a given. Growing up, Cas used to get bullied himself. It only got worse when he came out as being gay. He still has scars from what they did to him mentally and physically. It got to the point that he considered himself lucky if all he had to endure was six linemen all ganging up on him in the locker room and beating him senseless.

Shaking his head to get rid of the memories, Cas opened the door and stepped back. "Why don't you come sit down, and we can talk about it?"

Dean nodded and walked inside. The position his arms were in over his chest were making him look so small and vulnerable. He was hugging himself like he was cold.

Instead of going into the kitchen like usual, Castiel and Dean sat on the barely used couch. It was a pale blue color and soft to the touch. It sunk down from the weight of the two males. Dean put his bag on the floor and avoided looking at Cas.

Dean was sitting with his hands clenched together. His head was tilted down to the floor and he kept bouncing his left leg. Castiel instantly recognized this as his nervous twitch. It was common for people to do this, along with speaking fast and stuttering.

"I must be stronger then I first thought, be-because I pinned one of them to the g-ground and started hitting him and...I-I couldn't stop myself...Sam was yelling and m-my fist was covered in the dude's b-blood." Dean said, his body starting to shake. He looked so scared and panic-stricken.

In an instant, Dean's whole demeanor changed and he tilted his head up, expression serious. "I didn't care. I had to protect Sam."

Cas began considering that Sam and Dean must have a large co-dependecy between them. From the way Dean always got very protective everytime he mentioned his younger brother it was obvious. Castiel had to study different types of co-dependency for his final at college and was glad he knew the information.

"It is okay. You were angry. Anger gets the best of us sometimes." Castiel said, trying to console the young teen. He knew the best way to go about this was to be kind and speak calmly.

Dean looked down and mumbled something so quietly Cas couldn't hear it. Trying to be supportive and show that he will listen to whatever it is Dean has to say, Cas put his hand on Dean's shoulder snd turned him slightly so that they faced each other. They met each others eyes and Castiel raised a single eyebrow.

Dean bit his lip and looked away, eyes slowly brimming with tears. "I hit Sam..."

Castiel sat in his seat for a minute to be sure he heard Dean right. He had spoken so quietly and his voice was so small. In this moment, the tough guy façade was gone and in its place was a small fourteen year old boy asking for help. 

"You...what?" There was no way Cas heard him right. Hit Sam? Dean cared more about his younger brother then he did his own life! There was no way he would hurt him.

Dean snapped his head up as tears threatened to be shed. "I-I didn't mean to! He put his hand on my shoulder and I thought it was one of the other guys so I turned and hit him in the face."

That makes more sense. With how Dean had been talking, hiwever, all of the violent anger, Sam could have been hurt. But Dean needed him to help him calm down, not worry him more. "You didn't mean to, Dean. That is all that matters."

"Dad always said he doesn't mean to..."

Castiel's eyes widen with multiple emotions running through his head. There were many times where Cas would see random bruises or cuts or other signs of abuse but when he asked Dean about it he said he fell or something. He had his assumptions but didn't think John Winchester was that kind of man.

Thinking back, he remembered the first time he saw the bruises. Dean was about ten and a half. He came over like he always did   
at that age, but his face was awful. He had a black eye and large bruises on his jaw and cheek. When Castiel asked about it he said it was a baseball accident.

Another day a few weeks later, Dean had leaned back to stretch and his shirt rode up. Castiel glanced over and saw small round burn marks about the size of a cigarette on the fleshy part of his side. Castiel's blood ran cold thinking about what Dean's father did to him. When asked about it, the young child just blushed and pulled his shirt down. He said it was nothing and to not worry about it.

As months passed, Castiel saw glimpses of other bruises or burns on Dean's skin. There were a few rare times where they looked serious but Dean just brushed it off.  He started missing more days of school than usual and wore long sleeved shirts even on the hottest days. Dean even refused to take of his sunglasses when he went inside. However, as time progressed, Castiel stopped seeing the signs of abuse. Either John stopped doing it, or Dean was just getting better at hiding them.

Castiel couldn't bear the thought of Dean having to go through this. "I don't think you should stay with him anymore."

"I can't just leave him! He is my dad!" Dean said, sounded offended. "He won't be winning Father of the Year, but damn it he is always there when I need him!"

Castiel sighed. Convincing Dean to get him and his brother out of that house and away from their father is going to be harder then he thought. "John Winchester is a horrible father and you deserve better. Do you have any family you can move in with?"

"Well...there is my Uncle Bobby." 

Before Dean could say anything else, he was interrupted by a loud crashing noise. It sounded as if glass was shattering, and a loud booming voice rang out across the house that belonged to none other then John Winchester.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?" He shouted before another crashing sound followed. The slur in the way he pronounced is words was evident, indicating that John had been drinking.

This was not good. John was going to hurt Dean for sure. Castiel looked over at the young teenager to see him cowering in fear. Dean must have realized this, too.

"Dean, go into one of the rooms and lock the door. Take this phone and call Bobby." Castiel said and thrusts his cell phone into Dean's hands. All Dean did was stare up at Cas with wide eyes. He looked terrified at the idea.

"But-" He started, before, once again, John's shouting interrupted him.

"I AM NOT PLAYING AROUND, NOVAK!" He sounded even angrier than before, if it was even possible. He pounded his first against the front door with tenacious force. The only way to get rid of him is to confront him.

So, Castiel pushed Dean into a room at random and put a chair under the door handle. He heard banging on the door as Dean tried to get out, but there was no use. Dean was not going anywhere near John as long as Cas was standing.

Castiel walked over to the door and opened it. John was standing there, seething with rage. Clearing his throat, Castiel tried to sound as casual as possible. "Hello, Mr. Winchester. May I help you?"

The angry older man scoffed and narrowed his eyes at Cas. He was looking at him like has was nothing more than a piece of gum under his shoe. Annoying, disgusting trash that poses no real threat. His stare made Castiel squirm, but he held his ground and kept eye contact.

"Don't play games with me, boy." John spat. "Tell Dean to get his ass out here."

"Dean is not here. I haven't seen him all day."

John's eyes seemed to light up in anger. "Bullshit! I see his bag in the sitting room!"

Turning around, Cas saw that John was right. Dean left his bag on the floor in front of the sofa. Before Castiel could do anything, John pushed his way in and headed towards the door.

"Stay the hell away from Dean!" Castiel shouted, shoving John backwards.

The older man growled and pulled out a pistol. He aimed it at Castiel and cocked it. "Out of the way, boy."

Standing his ground, Cas charged forward and tackled John to the ground. Grabbing the cold metal of the pistol, he threw it somewhere and pinned John underneath him.

They fought like this for some time. Trading punches and kicks to the groin. It wasn't until John kicked his legs forward and sent Cas flying into the wall that any real threat occured.  
     
    
________________________________________

A knife. John had a knife almost as long as a machete. With Castiel dazed and confused from the impact his head made on the wall, he was too vulnerable to do anything. Seeing an opportunity he couldn't resist, John rushed forward.

Click. Bam. Crash. He never made it five feet before a bullet peirced through his heart and he fell to the pale wooden floor. The last thing his eyes saw was his eldest son clutching a gun tightly in his hands. 

John smiled as he drifted away. In this moment, he felt proud. It was funny, come to think of it. His son was the one to kill him. But it was that act of pure braver that gave John the peace he needed to drift away to somewhere he will never come back from.

________________________________________

Burning eyes filled with tears. Ringing ears from the sound of the gunshot. Hands, shaky and unstable, grip the pistol. Dean just shot his father.

Many emotions ran through his mind. A father is supposed to be there for his children. Bring them up when others put them down and stand by them no matter what they chose. John Winchester was none of this.

He was cold hearted. Any warmth his soul once held was stripped away during the war. He was a broken shell of the man he used to be.

War can do that to you. Break you down, make you conform to the twisted world it brought with it. Not only wars in other countries, but wars within your own home, within your own mind.

Dean has been fighting a war for as long as he can remember. Today, as he stands above his fathers lifeless body, he knew. He won.

"Dean!"

Castiel's voice peirced through the remander of Dean's thoughts. A deep, overwhelming sense of guilt swept through the teenager seeing the fear in those same blue eyes that always look at Dean with optimism.

What has he done? He ruined everything! Cas will never be able to look at him like he used to, never be able to look at him in adoration like Dean always dreamt he would.

"H-he was going to kill you..." Dean barely got out, a strong feeling of despair evidant.

Instead of the aversion Dean was expecting from Castiel, the older man ran forward and held Dean tightly. He carefully took the gun from Dean's hands and threw it somewhere unknown.

"You did the right thing, okay?" Cas said. "But you need to go. Go pack your things and be with your family."

Sitting in a car with Sam and Mary after what Dean just did was the last thing he wanted. He can imagine the disgust and shame on his mother's face. Sam, whom Dean cared for more than anyone else in the world, would just turn away and never say another word to his brother.

So, with wide eyes and a shaky voice, Dean spoke. "I am not leaving you!" 

"Dean, you must."

"Fuck that! I love you, damn it!" Dean growled and shouted. He almost tried to take it back, with how Cas was looking at him.

But, YOLO, right?

Dean didn't know what he was expecting Cas to say. Maybe repulsed, or irritated. Whatever it was, it did prepare him for the hurt of Cas's words.

"You are just a child. You don't know what love is." Cas said, voice filled with pity. He kissed Dean on the forehead and pushed him out the door, never to see him again.

He wanted to scream. He wanted to cry. But Sam was approuching him now and he needed to be strong.   
  

It started raining and took an hour to get everything packed up and into Bobby's car. Dean didn't say a word to anyone. As he was sitting in the back seat, about to leave everything and everyone he has ever known, he turned and looked back at Cas's house.

Right there, in the window, Castiel was standing. Dean waved. Cas walked away.

*6 years later*

Dean cut off the ingine of his '67 Impala as he pulled up to the house that held his happiest memories. He looked at the picture of his mother with a sad smile and exhaled through his nose. "A promise is a promise..."

As he looked back at the house, he suddenly felt uneasy. It has been 6 years; what if Cas changed? What if he doesn't want to see Dean?

Shaking his head to get rid of those thoughts, he opened the door and stepped out.

He took his time to walk over to the door. His eyes examined ever bit of the outside of the house. The only difference from the last time he was here was the way the house looked more run down and the grass wasn't as green.

Dean knew he couldn't stall forever and finally approuched the door. Taking a deep, encouraging breath, Dean knocked on the door and stepped back.

Minutes passed before the door ever opened. Standing no more then 3 feet infront of Dean was Castiel Novak. Taking in his appearance, Dean knew he was in trouble.

Cas' hair was ruffled and his glasses askew on his face. Instead of his usual dress shirt and slacks, he was wearing grey sweat pants and a white t-shirt. Dean felt his heart beat faster. It was like he was falling in love with him all over again.

Cas didn't seem to recognize him at first, but when he did, he just stared into Dean's green eyes in awe. Dean swore he saw Cas whisper damn, but he wasn't sure.

He was sure when Cas pulled him into a deep embrace and spoke quietly into his ear. "I can't believe it is you."

"Yeah, it's me." Dean said, pulling away. "You look great, Cas."

A slow blush spread across Cas' face at the compliment. "Oh, uh t-thanks. And you look..."

He never finished his sentence. Just stood there, staring at Dean. This made Dean laugh as he stepped into the house.

It was exactly how Dean remembered, save for a few new pictures. They were all of Cas doing something extraordinary. Things Dean could never do.

They made small talk. How college was. What Dean did for work. How his family doing.

Dean, being how he was, asked the more personal questions. "So, you being a college boy and all, when was the last time you got laid?"

Cas coughed awkwardly and looked down at his feet. "Never, actually."

If Dean was drinking something, he would have spit it out.

"You, a virgin? There is no way!" Dean exclaimed, astonished at this. He always asumed that Cas got all of the ladies. He got Dean.

Still looking down at the ground, Cas shrugged. "No one ever caught my eye."

"Well...what is your type?" 

It was wishful thinking, but all Dean wanted in this moment was for Cas to say you. It has been a long 6 years, but the only person Dean ever felt truely at home with was Castiel Novak.

Cas looked up at Dean as he answered. "6'2 with a muscular build. Short, dirty blonde hair and vibrant green eyes. Freckles, and lots of them. Not exactly book smart but knows his way around a motor."

Instead of doing some crazy romantic gesture like he should have, Dean just gives him a sly grin and sas, "If I ever meet someone like that, I will let you know."

Dean almost face palmed himself. Here Cas was, telling Dean exactly hpw he felt and Dean was just too damn proud to do anything except throw it in his face. Cas didn't seem to mind, however. He just stood there with an indifferent look on his face.

So, in order to fix it, Dean stepped closer.

"I think you have horrible taste in men." He said. "I perfer really smart guys with dark hair and really intense blue eyes. He is shy around everyone except the few he is close to. And, what can I say...I like my men older."

Dean said the last bit with his eyes locked with Cas'. All the older man did was smirk and speak. "If I find a guy like that, I will let you know.

A playful laugh came out of Dean's mouth and he felt happier than he has in a long time. Cas just had that effect on him. He was that good of a person, that pure of heart.

Before he could think, Dean rushed forward and pinned Cas against the wall. He heard the sharp intake of breath from the man below him and leaned into his ear, whispering quietly.

"I am ready for my grown up kiss now, Mr. Novak."

Cas' eyes had a dark, lustfilled look to them as he slammed his lips to Dean's. Everything happened in a blur. A press of skin, shed clothing, and soon enough they were in the bedroom covered in sweat.

"Not much of a virgin now." Dean said, both hands wrapped tightly around his lovers erection. Soft moans were coming out of his mouth as he slowly came undone.

There was nothing sweet or romantic about the way Dean stroked at his own pace. He was being rough and Cas loved it.  A simple twist at the crow and the run of his thumb over the slit was enough to have Cas cumming hard into Dean's hands.

Hand covered in sticky white release, Dean kept his eyes locked on Cas as he slowly sucked each finger clean.

But it wasn't enough, because Dean hadn't came yet. Cas took advantage of this and pressed Dean down on the bed, moving himself down so his face was level with Dean's crotch.

He experimentaly licked across the tip. After hearing Dean moan the way he did, Cas continued. Soon enough he had his mouth around Dean and bobbing.

"Shit! Oh, fuck, Cas! Jesus, don't stop!"

Swirling his tongue around his length, Cas hollowed out his cheeks to take Dean deeper. A loud moan and more profanities came out of Dean's slightly parted lips before he bucked his hips up and came into Cas' mouth.

Cas, not one for doing things half-assed, swallowed ever drop before pulling away and licking his lips.

Dean and Cas laid together for a long time. As Cas started to drift of to sleep, he looked at Dean and whispered. "Stay with me?"

Dean smiled and pecked his lips.

"Always."


End file.
